chenb•log

I don’t mind if I’m incomprehensible

Archive for September 2007

Let's All Be James Bond

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I watched the first episode of VH1’s “The Pick Up Artist” a couple days ago. It’s not a good show per se; it’s a “reality show,” not a documentary. But it is relevant to my interest.

At the beginning, there was a running “joke” with the name of the Indian guy on the show: white people had trouble pronouncing it. It wasn’t funny and it got old quick. The name wasn’t even that difficult to say.

My aunts did the right thing by giving me and my sister “American” names when we moved to this country. (They are legal names. Our Chinese names are now kind of our middle names.) I don’t want to waste time repeating myself.

Anyway.

More awesomely, there’s a Chinese guy on the show, from Portland, OR! He’s only slightly older than me. Represent!

When asked how would he want his life to look if he can be anybody in the world, he responded with “I want to be like Jame Bond.” Good answer. The perfect answer actually. A+.

But, you are doing it wrong. Here are some tips.

PROTIP #1: James Bond doesn’t wear a green t-shirt with a cartoon bear on it. Have you ever seen Bond wear an ill-fitting or ill-matching outfit? Dude’s shirt doesn’t even wrinkle after he fist-rape some bad guys’ faces.

PROTIP #2: Stop your nervous gestures. That kind of shit probably get James Bond killed. Fortunately, he doesn’t do them. (“A freakin’ lazer pointed at my crotch? What-the-fuck-ever amirite?”) But you do.

PROTIP #3: Lose some weight. You are Chinese for Mao’s sake!

PROTIP #4: If you can manage it, don’t be Chinese. Or Asian. Name one Asian male sex symbol in the U.S. media. You can’t. Neither can any women in this country.

If there are any women reading this and have seen the show: what do you think of it?

Written by Barry

September 23, 2007 at 4:00 pm

Posted in General

EPIC WIN!!111eleven!1

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(From the Wireless Festival in London.)

Finally, some good footage from a Daft Punk show.

I don’t know how effective the light show is for those who are far away from the stage. It’s best to get close and be blinded by the lights. Unless, of course, you are temporarily distracted by a girl who came to dance next to you. Dammit wimmin. >.<

Daft Punk > wimminz.

Written by Barry

September 20, 2007 at 9:11 pm

Posted in Music

I Think You're Fat

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Written by Barry

September 15, 2007 at 9:05 pm

Posted in General

One Week Late

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Alan Braxe and Fred Falke – Intro

I’ve always liked the very few Alan Braxe tracks I happened upon; the latest being the remix of Justice’s D.A.N.C.E. And now I finally listened to “The Upper Cuts” collection, which are mostly new to me and mostly good stuff. (There’s a 99% chance Justice will play some Alan Braxe at Holocene. Hearing damage by French House? Yes please!)

Black Lips – Cold Hands

The Mendoza Line – 31 Candles
NOT! Because YouTube doesn’t have everything. “30 Year Low” is a pretty good (mini) album. 31 Candles is my favorite track from it. Few free tracks that aren’t it here.

Michael Jackson – Billie Jean

The first moonwalk is the best.

Midlake – Head Home

The official video uses a shorter version of the song.

Midnight Juggernauts – Shadows

Monkey Swallows the Universe – Little Polveir

Ryan Adams – Come Pick Me Up

Written by Barry

September 8, 2007 at 12:20 am

Posted in Music